The American Honor Killings Nobody Wants To Talk About
Qandeel Baloch was a Pakistani actress & social media star who, in July of 2016, was murdered by her brother in a now infamous “honor killing” that sparked global outrage. Media around the world covered the story. Celebrities spoke out in solidarity, condemning what is an important international women’s issue: women in many parts of the world may be murdered by their family for their perceived “immoral behavior” and often the perpetrators are given leniency for their crimes.
Last year, a teenage girl in Pakistan had her head crushed by her brother. Another was burned with acid. Another asphyxiated. And so on. When human beings are perceived as “things”, the ones who believe themselves to be the owners feel empowered to do what they want to their property.
Our American hearts react to these killings with horrified disconnection. This is a foreigner’s issue, the kind of barbarism that only exists in the old, cruel parts of the world. Murder happens in America, but family is a strong part of our American life. American families kill each other in drunken domestic disputes, but not because we cling to archaic standards. Right?
Jose Castillo-Cisneros of Washington. He was 3. He had autism. Last year he was beaten and stabbed to death by his mother’s boyfriend.
Alex Santiago of Arkansas. He was 21. He had autism. Last month his brother beat him to death with a baseball bat.
Matthew Tirado of Connecticut. He was 17. He had autism and was non-verbal. Last week he died of abuse and neglect at the hands of his mother. At the time of his death he had been emaciated to 84 pounds, suffered 3 broken ribs, and had numerous lacerations.
In 2017 thus far there have been 10 individuals with disabilities murdered by family or caregivers. The Disability Memorial keeps a record of disability “filicide”, where individuals died at the hands of family or caregivers. In 2016 there were 114 disabled persons murdered. In fact, there have been over 400 instances of filicide committed in the last five years to this segment of the population.
In the rare instances when these stories actually make headlines, it’s often the struggle of the parents which is highlighted, and the “burden” of supporting a child or adult often dehumanizes the victim. The perpetrators of these crimes typically receive leniency in sentencing, and messages of restrained judgment from the general public: “We’re disgusted but we understand. Your situation must have been very difficult to manage.”
Yesterday was International Disability Day of Mourning. A day not celebrated in popular media or popular culture in the United States. But a day memorializing the hundreds of people with disabilities who die each year at the hands of their families, in ways that are as vast and cruel as can be imagined. They’ve been beaten, gassed, left in the cold, rolled up in blankets and dumped in the ocean.
They died the way Qandeel Baloch did. Murdered for violating the honor of those who believed they had possession of them. Because in Pakistan, honor is perfect adherence to the religious. In America, honor is religious adherence to the perfect.
